Last week, we asked you to put a caption to the photo above — for a chance to win an HP TouchPad — and, whoa, did you ever. We received about 300 responses in comments and by email. Many of the best caption contenders came by mail, while many others came too late to qualify; deadline was December 28, 2011 at 11:59:59 pm ET. Actually, among the late-comers there were some well-deserving contest considerations. 🙁
We reduced the number of candidates to 15; originally we planned 10 but there were so many good entries. We used a polyhedral dice from my old Dungeons & Dragons game — yes, there was role playing before the Internet and Xbox 360 — to cut the contenders to 12, nine, six and three. Then one — so the winner was randomly chosen from among the top 15.
My favorite, had I been able to select, is the second in the list below. We present the contenders in alphabetical order. Read through or scroll to the end to see the winner.
“With a boisterous ‘big whooop’, Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer balks at the idea there are no true innovators left, now that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates are out of the picture”.
“In my right hand a Windows Phone, in my left hand…its future”.
“So I told Andy Lees to get the %#@& out of my office, out of my Windows Phone division, and to skeedaddle his way his way ‘sideways’ to a ‘time critical’ opportunity in Demotionville!”
“Steve Ballmer rehearses the entire first act of the opera ‘La Traviata’ in preparation for Microsoft’s First Annual Consumer Electronics Talent Show”.
“Mr. Balmer took the reins and decided the time was right to bring out the Microsoft Home Prostate exam hardware/software that will be shipping with WIndows 8”.
“And you thought my head was too big to fit in the Microsoft O!”
“I have exorcized the iPhone 5; this auditorium….is clear”.
“Steve Ballmer stars in “Phantom of the Tablet’, with guest appearances of Microsoft Kin, Zune Clippy , Bob and Microsoft XP Tablet Edition”.
Steve Ballmer comes away a strong first round contender on American Idol with his stirring rendition of ‘Memory'”.
“Steve Ballmer ‘Microsoft’s Got Talent 2011’ audition”.
“Steve Ballmer speechless reaction to the question from the audience about why Windows Phone can’t fly”.
“Steve’s demonstration of Microsoft’s new experimental auto-tie-tier-gadget goes horribly wrong as the device turns on its master”.
“Putting on the Ritz!”
“…and I said to Bill, so what if we didn’t create it, just slap our name on it and sell it, they’ll never know!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA”.
“Hey!! See my car?? it was paid for by Droid patents. Har Har Har”.
So who is our randomly-chosen winner of the HP TouchPad? Brian Sheaffer and “Putting on the Ritz!” Are you confused what that means? Perhaps the video below can help.